So I ordered myself a little toy for enhanced arcade action (no, not something like that, goodness, your minds ...). Shipped FedEx Ground. Okay, whatever. Three-day delivery or something like that.
Putter-putt-putt, the little truck makes its way from Arizona (no doubt stopping to pick up an Eagle - is that Glenn?) to here. Supposedly. Then I get the wonderful tracking message.
Eh? Oh, that's sales-ese for "Sorry, we didn't give you your package." Except, as has happened once before, they didn't leave a slip either. Kind of hard to sign for a package if there isn't anything to sign. Also, I seem to recall signing something saying "Leave my packages anyway. No, I mean it." Of course, that's probably an Anthem-like move: sorry, that's a separate division, doesn't apply here.
So I go to the website and write in. Hey, hold my package, I'll come get it.
Oh, sorry, why don't you just sign for it.
Because I couldn't. I told you so. I'll come get it.
Oh, sorry, you can't. We don't have a place for that.
wtf? (I didn't say that.) So you have my package, but won't hold it and won't let me sign for it? Alrighty then.
So now I get to have them fail to deliver it tomorrow, and leave a slip on my door, and maybe, if I'm lucky, I'll get it Friday. Left for me. Like I asked in the first place. (Note: certain adjectives omitted just in case sensitive eyes are reading this.)
Remind me, the next time I see "shipping options" and "FedEx Ground" in the same box, to check the "fuck that" box.
Oops. Did I say that out loud?