Thursday, November 15, 2007


So I ordered myself a little toy for enhanced arcade action (no, not something like that, goodness, your minds ...). Shipped FedEx Ground. Okay, whatever. Three-day delivery or something like that.

Putter-putt-putt, the little truck makes its way from Arizona (no doubt stopping to pick up an Eagle - is that Glenn?) to here. Supposedly. Then I get the wonderful tracking message.

delivery exception

Eh? Oh, that's sales-ese for "Sorry, we didn't give you your package." Except, as has happened once before, they didn't leave a slip either. Kind of hard to sign for a package if there isn't anything to sign. Also, I seem to recall signing something saying "Leave my packages anyway. No, I mean it." Of course, that's probably an Anthem-like move: sorry, that's a separate division, doesn't apply here.

So I go to the website and write in. Hey, hold my package, I'll come get it.

Oh, sorry, why don't you just sign for it.

Because I couldn't. I told you so. I'll come get it.

Oh, sorry, you can't. We don't have a place for that.

wtf? (I didn't say that.) So you have my package, but won't hold it and won't let me sign for it? Alrighty then.

So now I get to have them fail to deliver it tomorrow, and leave a slip on my door, and maybe, if I'm lucky, I'll get it Friday. Left for me. Like I asked in the first place. (Note: certain adjectives omitted just in case sensitive eyes are reading this.)

Remind me, the next time I see "shipping options" and "FedEx Ground" in the same box, to check the "fuck that" box.

Oops. Did I say that out loud?


  1. Trust me - I have much experience in this arena - UPS and DHL aren't much better. In fact, FedEx is the lesser of three evils.

    Sorry to be the bearer of bad news...

  2. Ah, but you see, this is different. I'm a residential customer and therefore less important.

    From my experience, this is what happens:

    -- With UPS, you notify them, they hold the package, you pick it up.
    -- With FedEx Air, you notify them, they hold the package, you pick it up.
    -- With FedEx Ground, you notify them, they don't give a ... darn.

    Apparently FedEx Ground won't even let you redirect the package to somewhere where you might actually be found so you can retrieve your package. So what's going to happen is that the driver won't leave a note this time either, and they'll send it all the way back to the shipper, and then I'm going to be angry.

  3. Why don't you have packages shipped to work again? This is what I started doing when the leasing office had hours that began at 9:00am and ended at 6:00pm.

    Seriously, who's home during those hours?

  4. Because a) everyone else leaves packages when I ask them to and b) some things are too big to go in the car, which is why I have them shipped home. (This is not too big. The thing UPS left on my doorstep today might be.)


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