Sunday, March 30, 2008

Stupid coaches

Dear Rick Barnes,

YOU LOST. STOP FOULING.

Good God. I think it's time to go to something like four free throws for fouls beyond 12 or something like that. You're down 17 with a minute to go. YOU LOST.

What a bunch of hacks.

Billy Packer, always 30 minutes behind the action, just noticed that perhaps the fans might get upset if Texas kept fouling. (They've been booing loudly for the last three fouls. Even they realize the game is over.)

Also, CBS sucks. That is all.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

l2count

Dear math-challenged announcers, and you know who you are (Mr. Manaman),

When a team is down late in regulation or overtime, generally speaking, yes, they do need threes. Example: you're down 4 with 20 seconds left. If you hit a 2 right away, and you steal the inbounds pass and hit another 2, then no, you didn't need a 3. In any other situation, though, yes, you did. (It's also possible to foul, watch them miss two, and then come down and hit a two, but about as likely.)

What is much, much, much more likely is that your opponent is going to score again. Anything less than 10 seconds a possession is luck. You should expect your opponents to hit free throws, not hope that you'll somehow hypnotize the ball out of their hands. If they get two free throws per possession, you need three points per possession.

Learn to count.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

CBS = teh suck

CBS can go f themselves. The announcers did everything but paint their faces blue at halftime.

You got the team you wanted. Make sure to root for them against West Virginia, too. Normally, biased announcers favor the underdog, but it's cool, don't worry about it.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

wow

Not sure how to describe today. All I know is that a) I need to save some money so I can experience more of this tournament and b) if I went to the doctor, he'd say no way, not going to happen. (I think I'd rather have a female doctor, actually, not for that reason, but I'd rather not have a man checking out my parts. Anyway.)

Wisconsin has officially set the sport of basketball back 10 years. Good God. And yeah, Beilein has some work to do. Michigan looked awful. A decent team would have beaten Wisconsin. I'm glad MSU won, because the rest of the day sucked ...

until just now. I should have left the radio on. Hearing Don Fischer announce the end would have been priceless, but I was angry at the refs and I switched it off.

Anyway again, we watched the first two games, ducked out early and got a table at the Claddagh 15 minutes before everyone got there, headed back to watch Purdue lose a heartbreaker, and then saw Minnesota show IU why Dan Dakich is not the right man for the job. (Of course, it could also be that IU has too many players who don't realize maybe D.J. White should get the ball from time to time.)

Also, I got a free grande frappuccino at Starbucks, because they made the wrong one, which makes up for their stupid system where they have only three baristas anyway and they serve cold and hot drinks on opposite sides, so you can't ever find out if yours is ready.

One of my good friends, who is totally awesome, got tickets to a suite for the evening session. If I didn't mention this before, she's awesome. Anyway, the seats were great, and on top of that, one of the people there knows Landon Turner, so he invited Turner to the suite. (If you don't know who he is, check out his site. He was one of the key players on Indiana's 1981 national champs; he was paralyzed from the waist down in a car accident, ending his collegiate career. Most people who saw him play would say he had definite NBA talent. From everything I'd heard, he's a great guy, and I'd definitely agree.)

As a bonus, Wayne Duke stopped by as well. If you don't know him, look him up. (Big Ten history.)

I did kind of have a little too much caffeine, so that didn't help. But it was a great day. (I recommend the General's Meatloaf at the Claddagh.)

Totally worth it. Bring on the dance!

P.S. Portland State won its conference. Did your school?

Oh yeah, I forgot. Some drunk jackasses from Ohio State (shocker) sat behind us, thankfully on a level up, and every other word out of their mouths was a word I will not repeat on this blog. Suffice it to say that "earmuffs" doesn't quite cover it. Probably Yankee fans too. Anyway, to them I say ha ha, your team lost, and no one cares that you stole beer from suites. (Big Ten tournament = no beer sales.)

Also, I had the worst back spasms I've ever had. Ever. I thought at one point I would have to fold myself in half to make them stop. It's possible that sitting in an arena seat for four hours and then sitting on a short stool for two hours set it off. I think it's because I drank about seven Diet Cokes at the Claddagh and didn't go to the bathroom. Why do I say that? When I got to Conseco and excused myself, after reprising the scene from A League of Their Own, the back pain was gone. If that's anything like what pregnant women can go through, wow, I never want two X chromosomes as long as I live.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

I hate you, 2K

So I rented MLB 2K7 to make up some gamerscore. I spent an hour modifying the Mets and Tigers to set up a good game to get a ton of points. I play the whole game, and guess what?

no achievements.

no gamerscore.

You know what? I broke up with you first. Before you even called, I decided to break up with you, so none of this matters, we broke up anyway, and I did it. You know what this is? Me hanging up on you.

bang.

And this too.

bang.

EDIT: okay, so it's because they hid an update as "Hey, download these stadiums!" And I said no.

I'll fix it later.

Congratulations, cheaters

Good luck with that fouling press and those moving screens in the tournament. I hope you make it myself. I'll be betting heavily on your first-round opponent.

If betting were legal, of course.
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