Saturday, February 27, 2010

NHL 10: Late December '09

Hey, with the real-life NHL in full swing, I've picked up NHL 10 again ...

Three games this week: hosting San Jose, hosting some team I don't recognize, and at Colorado. Oh, Columbus is the middle one. Didn't recognize the logo at all.

December 21st: I made a nice play in the first, fishing a puck out of the crease (and nearly putting it in) and taking it to safety ... didn't mark Marleau well and gave up a goal, then got off the ice a second before we equalized. We got the third goal in the first minute of the second period (on the same shift where I knocked down Joe Thornton). Two more later and we cruised to an easy win.

Stats: 0 G, 0 A, +1, 4 shots, 0 PIM, 2 hits, 1 blocked shot
Result: W 5-1 vs. San Jose
Grade: A- (A+/A-/B)

December 23rd: Tough game ... actually went to a shootout. Naturally, I missed my shot ... they won, 2-1 after 4 shots.

Stats: 0 G, 0 A, -1, 4 shots, 0 PIM, 0 hits, 1 blocked shot
Result: L 2-3 SO vs. Columbus
Grade: B (A+/B+/C)

Four points out of 8th ... easily in the playoff hunt, but we need to keep winning, especially against Western Conference teams.

December 26th: gave up a silly goal in the slot when I didn't check my man, then we lost in OT when they scored a power-play goal. One of our D went down with a first-period injury, so I got a lot of ice time: 40:41, second-most on the team (my partner had 47 minutes).

Stats: 0 G, 1 A, even, 4 shots, 0 PIM, 0 hits, 1 blocked shot
Result: L 1-2 OT at Colorado
Grade: A- (A+/B+/A-)

woot! Moved up to the second pair.

Three games this week: Chicago on Tuesday, Anaheim on Thursday, Vancouver on Saturday.

December 29th: we scored twice on one shift, then I got a third plus when the defense changed before the forwards did. Gave up a bad goal on a turnover, but it didn't matter.

Stats: 0 G, 0 A, +2, 1 shot (I think, I looked in the wrong place for SOG), 0 PIM, 1 hit, 0 blocked shots
Result: W 4-1 vs. Chicago
Grade: A- (A+/B/A-)

December 31st: gave up a bad goal, took a crap penalty (interference, thought I was finishing my check), but played well other than that. Easy win: Selanne took a major plus game misconduct for slashing, and that was that.

Stats: 0 G, 1 A, +2, 1 shot, 2 PIM, 3 hits
Result: W 6-2 vs. Anaheim
Grade: A (A+/B+/A+)

Friday, February 26, 2010

Random thoughts

The US rolls into the gold-medal game.
Anticlimactic. The Finns looked completely overmatched ... you'd never guess that these were the top two teams remaining in the draw. (Yes, in case you've not been paying attention, #2 Sweden and #3 Russia are out. It's #6 Canada and #7 Slovakia to decide who will face the Americans Sunday.)

And despite all that, Gary Bettman is still too stupid to realize how valuable this is for the sport. Maybe it's because he's afraid that people will actually like hockey if they watch it; that would explain the contract with Vs. (And with NBC, the least-competent sports network in history. Why Bettman thought it was a good idea to pay NBC to show NHL games, I'll never know.) Obviously the NHL needs to stop for the 2014 Olympics in Russia, which means Bettman will probably be "negotiating" this until 2013. I hope he retires before he completely destroys the NHL.

Jim Bunning is a stupid prick.
Sorry, there's no other way to put it. It will be a boost for the Republicans when this jackass is out of office. (It'll be a boost for America too; I would guess there is at least one rational Republican in Kentucky. Whether or not he or she runs for the Senate is anyone's guess.)

Purdue's dream is over.
There are a lot of ways to look at this (I recommend the link that shows what to look for when someone goes down with a knee injury), but it boils down to this: prior to the injury, Purdue's ceiling was a national championship, and their floor was probably an Elite Eight appearance. Now, the ceiling is probably a Final Four appearance, and the floor is a second-round NCAA loss. Even if Keaton Grant continues to play solid basketball, that leaves Purdue with three productive players and a lot of smaller parts, and if they face a team that can limit at least two of the productive players, it'll be very difficult for the Boilers to win.

Watch how Purdue handles their next two big games, at home against Michigan State and then their Saturday game in the Big Ten tournament ... those are the most favorable matchups against good teams Purdue is likely to have. If the Boilers look bad in either or both games, or if they lose any others (the conference wrapups against Indiana and Penn State or the Friday tournament game), sell your Final Four tickets.

The Free Press is full of lying liars and doesn't care if you know or not.
Michigan is not going to be crushed under the NCAA's thumb. Rich Rodriguez is not Satan. Mistakes were made, perhaps some bad decisions were made, but it is not what the Freep would have you believe, not that this bothers them in the slightest.

The Freep is out to get Rodriguez and Michigan, much as the Indianapolis Star likes to crap on Purdue at every opportunity, although in this particular instance the Freep has crossed into territory not even Bob Kravitz will occupy.

Follow the link above and read some other mgoblog posts about the situation. You'll see what I mean.

How can I be so confident? Even OSU blogs agree with mgoblog. Basically, sane people believe that a) Michigan is getting screwed by this coverage while b) USC is getting away with pretty much everything. An OSU blog (and coach, by the way) supporting UM? Dogs and cats, living together. Yep, it's the apocalypse.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Poor form design

Even Google gets things wrong sometimes. (I don't mean like Buzz. That's more like "Even Google completely nukes a section of the internets and then attempts to apologize later, as if words could somehow make up for the incredibly stupid decisions they made.")

Have you nominated your area to be a test market for Google's reported 1 Bbps fiber service? You should. I did, and when I submitted the form, Google politely told me that while they'd saved my information on the page (good), there was something I had to correct ...

One of the boxes could contain no more than 384 characters.

Why 384? Who knows. (Typically it's 255; you may get smaller numbers if they do something to the text going in or coming out, and I suppose this could be a natural-language field, but I digress.) The point is that they showed me a restriction after I submitted the form ... and not only that, they didn't even tell me how much I had to change.

This is very bad practice. First, you should do this checking prior to form submission so that you don't make the user waste a step. We don't like trying things that don't work. (Google is notorious for low-load pages ... but then they have AJAX to bring up search tips and such, so why would they not use JavaScript here?) Second, if there is a problem, tell the user exactly what it is, and if possible, make recommendations to fix it. Tell me how many characters I've typed. Don't make me copy the text into Word just to count it. Better yet, add code to the text box to show me exactly how much room I have.

Ah, Google. Just like the rest of us, aren't you?

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Curling? Really?



Definitely a sport (scoring involved)
Lots of strategy
Casual people can actually play it
Slower pace allows explanation of strategy


Unfamiliar to many Americans
Ruined by commercials

Wait, what? Ruined?

Yes. NBC is making the same mistake that networks made with soccer for 20-30 years in the US, repeatedly killing its televised popularity as participation in the sport soared. (This would be akin to buying a home above list price these days.) Just as ESPN tried to force soccer into their standard sporting template during the World Cup and got bashed repeatedly for ignoring live action, NBC cuts away from live play to show commercials in the middle of an end, usually not even bothering to show the shots you missed while they were away. The stranger part is that they'll come back from commercial after the 5th end (the halfway point), then cut to commercials again, then miss the first couple of rocks in the 6th.

If you want to increase the popularity of a sport on television, you have to show it in a manner that supports the sport. NBC, of course, is the network least capable of doing this on the planet, and thus we get the exact opposite.

Look, more people in the US are going to be watching the Olympics right now than would watch all of the individual sports combined during the years in between. Now is the chance to teach people about it ... show something like Canada vs. Great Britain, so you've got skilled teams with the crowd reacting to each shot, and show the whole thing. Talk about strategy, scoring, everything. Get people involved. And instead of burying your snout even deeper in the trough of advertising money, lift your piggy head, take a deep breath, and let the sport speak for itself. We've already seen the same commercials 20 times over anyway: the Olympics are just like all other televised sports in that you get the same commercials over and over again, except there are so many days that the commercial overkill happens after a day or two instead of weeks.

It makes me sad. There are people at NBC who are responsible for nothing other than sports coverage, and they're obviously so bad at their jobs that trained monkeys would be offended if asked to replicate the work. Yet they are still employed. Dear NBC, hire me at half what they're making, and I'll make your sports coverage ten times better.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Yes, this

NPR's Linda Holmes says it very well: NBC has no idea what it's doing.

If the IOC had any brains (and many would argue they've been missing said brains for a long time), they'd do whatever is necessary to yank the exclusive contract for US television rights and award it to a network that actually shows sports. In an era where people watch live sports on TVs, computers, phones, and who knows what else, NBC continues to show tape-delayed events. (Hey look, guys, isn't this cool? Who do you think will win ... how did you know? Was that on the World Wide Web somewhere? We've got to get that someday.)

I think we are rapidly approaching an era where broadcast networks are no longer equipped to show sports. (And a cheer goes up from the non-sports-fan contingent.) Don't laugh: I'm not the only one who thinks this. Notice what ABC and ESPN are doing? You've obviously seen that Monday Night Football is on "cable", and that didn't ruin the football universe. ABC is shifting more events to ESPN, including NASCAR events ... there are ABC affiliates in the South that are not happy with this, but I don't know that too many people care.

Unfortunately for the people who don't have cable and can't stream events, that's where things are heading. ESPN could cover the NCAA tournament 10 times better than CBS can, and CBS knows it: when they offered $1 billion for what I think was a seven-year contract to get the rights back after ESPN snagged the first-round games and did them superbly, they were doing it to protect valuable territory, just like NBC did with the Olympics, and just like the NCAAs have surpassed CBS' ability to cover them well, the Olympics have surpassed NBC's ability to cover them ... at all.

If some people are upset, you might be doing something right. If everybody's upset, you must be NBC.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

NHL 10: Early December '09

AHL: ha ha, I got a crap interference penalty in a scrum along the boards, and sure enough, the announcers sided with me. Didn't matter though, we killed it off. Lost 2-1, I missed a hip check and the guy set up the winning goal. Had a nice shot in close, but I couldn't put it home. 3 hits, 3 blocked shots.

Four games this week, Sunday and Monday at the same team, then on the road again Friday and home on Saturday.

AHL: Third star, two assists in a 2-0 win. Almost had a shot at an empty net, but I passed by accident. (I didn't have a great shot, and it probably would have been icing if I'd missed.) A grade, 2 hits, drew 1 penalty, blocked 1 shot. +2.

AHL: Second game at Lake Erie. Miserable. 2 hits, -2. We still lead our division by 3 points with 3 games in hand, trail Hamilton by 6 with 1 game in hand for the conference lead.

AHL: One penalty for hitting a guy just a touch too late. A-, 2 hits, 1 blocked shot, 1 takeaway. 2 assists on one shift in the second period, +2 for the game.

AHL: 0 hits. 0 blocked shots. At least I had good shots. Of course, none went in. 1 assist, even. We climbed to within 2 points of Hamilton.

Woo hoo! Called up to Dallas! Third pair and included in special teams (which is kind of odd; I understand the game wants you to get more experience but it would be nice to make you earn one or both honors).

Three games this week: at Carolina, at Atlanta, and home against Detroit. That last one won't be awkward.

We made a trade with Florida, but fortunately it didn't affect pairings.

At Carolina: 21 seconds in, we score. That's a nice return to the NHL. Some rough shifts (including a minus where the goalie lunges out to stop a pass into the zone he doesn't have to play and turns it over), but I got a +1 and an assist late and we held on to win. Much more of a physical presence this time. Lots of good calls for passes (9). We're still way out of the playoff race, though, in 13th.

Stats: 0 G, 1 A, -1, 4 shots, 0 PIM, 6 hits, 2 blocked shots
Result: W 7-4 at Carolina
Grade: A (A+/A/B+)

At Atlanta: A tough defensive struggle, scoreless through two periods ... I have the puck at the point, skating backward, no one is open, I fire a shot at Pavelec ... and the red light goes on. Goal! My first NHL goal, and it gives us a 1-0 lead as well. Later in the period, I fire another one at the net, it's tipped down and in, and we're up 2-0. Unfortunately, my dumbass defensive partner turns the puck over in our end and it's promptly put in the net. 2-1, and I no longer have the game-winning goal, but get the first star nonetheless. (I got an E for scoring my first goal in my 30th game. Hey, I'm a defensive defenseman! Back off.)

Stats: 1 G, 1 A, +1, 3 shots, 0 PIM, 2 hits, 0 blocked shots
Result: W 2-1 at Atlanta
Grade: A (A+/A-/A)

vs. Detroit: ha ha, this one was a bit tough, not just because it was Detroit, but because I was playing against the Datsyuk/Zetterberg line. Halfway through the first, I was a -2. Fortunately, we ended up getting a couple of goals to even the score, and then our pair helped set up the game-winner in the second. Plus I got a hit on Zetterberg ... not sure how he stayed in one place long enough for me to hit him.

Stats: 0 G, 1 A, even, 5 shots, 0 PIM, 2 hits, 0 blocked shots
Result: W 3-2 vs. Detroit
Grade: A (A+/B+/A)

I'm getting much better at calling for passes well. I feel like I know what I'm supposed to do most of the time ... I just don't have the trailer role down. (When there's an odd-man rush and I should be attacking.)

We've pulled within 5 points of 8th-place Chicago.

More Madden 10 fail

I'm in an online franchise league in Madden 10 ... we just finished the Super Bowl (obviously I was not in it) and are ready to start the draft, and as a result, we've discovered how not ready for release online franchise mode is.

For one thing, you can look back to previous seasons and see ... the Super Bowl scores. That's it. No stats, no standings.

For another, when you roll to the next season, for every team with fewer than 7 open spots, it automatically cuts players to make room for drafted players, even though you have plenty of room on your training camp roster for these players (or should). And then when the draft is ready, you can't pick up the free agents it cut for you.

The draft is something else. Small time slots, no way to make them significantly big, and no way for the commissioner to undo a pick ... which is really inexcusable, because the default time slot is apparently 15 seconds. Yeah. And you can't set what they call a "draft profile" on the 360 because that would be helpful: you can actually see all the draftees' attributes there. You have to do it online, where you can't see more than one attribute at a time unless you click on the person, and you can't even sort accurately across groups. For example, if you sort by overall, but you're showing draftees by speed, all you get are the top overall scores for the draftees with highest speed. There's no way to remove that second filter.

I would say this was a half-assed effort by EA, but it would be an insult to actual half-assed efforts. Someone who had no idea of the work involved made the decision to rush this out with Madden 10 when in reality it should have been held back at least a year.

If you don't have a copy of Madden 10 yet, but you saw online mode and are swayed by it, don't be. Wait. It's not worth it yet. At all.

Friday, February 19, 2010

NHL 10: November '09

Still in the AHL.

AHL: another game against Chicago. 3-0 shutout, B+ grade, 2 hits, 2 blocked shots. +1.

The funny thing is that supposedly I get more experience doing defensive things than offensive things, but I've been pretty even overall (438 xp offense, 473 defense, 451 athletics) ... you get something like 20-40 per game in my role, depending on what you do. This is, of course, one of the things about being a good defender: what you do isn't in the scoresheet. That is, if you don't hit. (To reach the next level, Pro, I have to amass 300 hits, play 75 games, get a C or better in my last 5 games, and have a plus/minus of at least +5. Uh, 300? Two seasons, probably.)

AHL: gave up a goal on the opening shift. I even poked the puck loose and the guy just swept it back up. crap. Modano scored in the first minute of the second, though, and with another goal at the end of the shift, we evened it up. Two more goals in the second put it away, although we conceded a late goal after we scored an empty-netter. No hits. boo. 2 long shifts, 2 blocked shots.

Games on Wednesday and Friday this week.

AHL: 3 hits, 0 long shifts, 4 blocked shots. 1 assist, even for the game. A 2-1 win for the good guys. Playing a bit better, but I did make a mistake that led to their only goal.

AHL: same opponent as Wednesday's game. We scored two goals in the final minute to win 4-2: the first came as I took the puck up ice (for some reason they decided not to press me), created a 2-on-2, beat the guy on me, then set up the game-winner. (Not as good as the GWG myself, but I'll take an assist.) Empty-netter made it 4-2 and an extra plus for me. 2 hits, 5 long shifts, 1 blocked shot. 1 assist, +1 overall.

Games on Wednesday and Saturday this week. Texas is currently tied for 3rd in the Western Conference.

Finally made it up to C in hits (40 out of 245 needed), so it's obviously not a rate grade but rather an overall grade (a rate grade would be lower).

AHL: 2-1 win on a power-play goal with less than 2 seconds left. 4 hits, 5 long shifts, 0 blocked shots, 5 good shots. -1, though.

AHL: 4-3 OT win with me on the ice. Had a chance to score a goal with a delayed penalty, but couldn't gather up the puck; attacked in the OT on 4-on-4 play, but didn't get a good shot either. 2 hits, 11 long shifts (oops), 0 blocked shots, 1 penalty drawn, 9 good shots. 1 assist, +2.

Games on the 22nd, 23rd, 26th, 28th. (Thanksgiving, yeah.)

AHL: Milwaukee again. Jesus this was a bad game. 2 hits, 5 long shifts, 0 blocked shots. -5. Yeah. -5. On the ice for every goal against.

Somehow I get promoted to the top defensive pair after that game.

AHL: Promotion is totally justified. 3 assists, +4 for the game, second star as we crush Grand Rapids. A grade, 2 hits, 6 long shifts, 1 blocked shot, 9 good shots taken. Got my 50th hit (in 20 games, a D for that - I can't help if we keep the puck and I can't pop anyone). Got enough XP to move up to a 76 overall rating.

AHL: 6 hits, one minor penalty (totally my fault), 7 long shifts, 4 blocked shots, +2.

AHL: A grade, one silly retaliation penalty, 3 hits, 5 long shifts, 1 blocked shot, 8 good shots, 2 takeaways, 2 turnovers, 1 assist, +2.

One more game in November, Sunday at Manitoba again.

AHL: B+ grade, 1 hit, 3 long shifts, 2 blocked shots, 6 good shots.

Next game is December 5th ... hopefully by Christmas I will be back in Dallas with the big team.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

NHL 10: weeks 3-4

AHL game: finally, a solid physical game. 7 hits, put one guy out of the game and out for a week or so, A+ grade, third star. 0 turnovers. Still in the minors, though.

AHL game: only 2 hits, 3 turnovers, 2 takeaways. 0 shots on goal. B+ grade.

Three weeks in, half the time in Austin, slight improvement but no sign of being called back up yet.

AHL game: same story, not much in the way of anything, but we win again. At least I'm on track for all of my goals except hits. One nice thing is that we are taking many fewer penalties and we're scoring more, so my +/- is going up.

AHL: second of a home-and-home with San Antonio. Another win, only 3 long shifts, +4, and one nice shot from the high slot. May have to change the curve of my stick to aim differently.

Woo hoo! Moved up to the second pair. More ice time (although in Be a Pro Mode, you're automatically on the first shift each period and on each specialty unit, as well as an extra attacker, which is funny when you consider I'm a defensive defenseman).

AHL: A grade, second star. 6 hits, finally at my average. 8 long shifts, oh well. Sometimes it's not my fault: I head to the bench but they aren't ready to change yet. One assist, +3 for the game.

AHL: ugh. 2 hits, -3, on the ice for all three goals against, including the game-loser with less than a minute to play. Poor defense by me. Got a couple of good power-play shots, though.

NHL 10: week 2

Third game in the road trip, at Vancouver. No offense. I did manage to pop one of the Sedins at the blue line to shake the puck loose, but that was about it. I got a minus from giving up an empty-net goal. whatever. 10 long shifts. 2 takeaways, 2 turnovers.

Stats: 0 G, 0 A, -1, 2 shots, 0 PIM, 1 hit, 3 blocked shots
Result: L 0-2 at Vancouver
Grade: B (A+/B/C-)

So I didn't get enough hits and they sent me down to the Texas Stars (how original). Now I'm playing with Modano, Zubov, Robidas ... yeah, I don't understand what they're doing in the AHL either. I thought I would be a dominant player at that level. Instead, I'm still a third-line D-man. whatever.

First AHL game: OMG they take penalties. All the time. Bonus: the AHL stats do count toward my season totals. I don't care, I'm not giving details for these games.

Second game, this time we win. I'm hitting more and forcing turnovers, plus not having as many long shifts.

NHL 10: first week

Decent opener: my defense partner gives up a goal off his shoulder for my first minus, but I got a pair of assists and finished +1. Only 2 hits, though, and I still stay on the ice too long. We came back to win, 4-2, in part thanks to me drawing a minor on Shea Weber in the final minute. (We scored on that power play.) 2 blocked shots, but 4 long shifts. 3 turnovers. bad.

Stats: 0 G, 2 A, +1, 1 shot, 0 PIM, 2 hits, 2 blocked shots
Result: W 4-2 vs Nashville
Grade: A- (A+/C+/A+)

Road opener: again we concede on the opening shift. Fell behind 2-0, but ended up scoring 2 third-period goals to pull out the win. I really wanted to shoot at the empty net, but not from my end. I hit Neal up the wing, but he didn't get a clean shot at it. 9 long shifts, uh oh (thus the C+ for team play). Both shots were well taken, 0 takeaways, 1 turnover.

Stats: 0 G, 0 A, even, 2 shots, 0 PIM, 1 hit, 2 blocked shots
Result: W 3-2 at Edmonton
Grade: B+ (A+/B+/C+)

Second game of the Alberta trip: no goals in the first period. I was on the ice for all three normal goals (we scored two empty-net goals). I got a couple of good chances in the slot, but couldn't put them home. I did bait Iginla into a cheap penalty in the third (not that it required much effort). 9 long shifts (again). 0 takeaways, 4 turnovers (whatever).

I achieved Rookie status with that game. (Got my 5th hit. Too bad they're expecting 5 per game.)

Stats: 0 G, 1 A, +1, 3 shots, 0 PIM, 2 hits, 1 blocked shot
Result: W 4-1 at Calgary
Grade: A (A+/B/A+)

NHL 10: prospect game

Another in the line of "virtual me" posts ... I broke open NHL 10 today and created a me. A little taller, a little heavier, much, much better at hockey.

Played in the prospects game ... A+/A-/A+ scorecard, 1 minor penalty, 2 assists, +3 in a 4-0 win. Got the third star.

Signed by the Stars. ugh. Three-year contract, standard, I guess. I think I was the number one pick, but EA doesn't let you see how the draft turns out.

Here are my goals:

  • A plus/minus of +14 or better. That makes sense for a defensive D. (It's also low ... because Dallas sucks.)
  • 245 hits. Ouch. (no pun intended) That's 3 per game plus 5 extra hits. I better hit some people.
  • 140 shots would be nice ... not so bad. I typically only shoot from the point off a faceoff win.
  • 24 points would be a bonus ... expect these to be assists, mostly. Hopefully I can manage that.

They're giving me four games to earn a spot on the roster, otherwise I go down to the AHL. Hmm. I suspect those games don't count toward my season goals. I suppose I better play well. I thought it was preseason, but apparently we don't play that.

Maybe I can do something well and earn a trade to a team I don't dislike. (It could have been worse: Calgary, Anaheim, Colorado ...)

Friday, February 12, 2010

The Romans would be proud

Roger Goodell wants to ban the three-point stance. Short version: doing so would possibly limit the number of powerful blows a lineman has to absorb, decreasing the possibility of debilitating brain damage later in life.

Spin: nice idea, but because Goodell isn't doing anything about other serious problems in football (serial cheap-shot players like Ryan Clark and Ray Lewis), it's possible this won't make much of a difference, and thus it's only a PR stunt.

I link to the Football Outsiders post to show the discussion ... sadly, there are several people who seem to believe that the players know what they're getting into, therefore, screw them, we want our violence. (You know, the NASCAR-wreck crowd.) This guy retires with 10 concussions and develops Alzheimer's at 40, but who cares? Look at this rookie? Wow, he's a really big hitter!

It is the internet, and thus e-pinions are likely to be stronger than you'd see in "real life", but still, it's discouraging to think that on a statistically-inclined football site, there are a number of people back in the Coliseum, still rooting for the lions. (Ha. Maybe that's Detroit's problem. There isn't a team of Christians.)

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Advertiser fail

Did you know there aren't enough ads in sports games?

No, really.

Wow. I mean, I have done some contract work for an advertising agency, so I know a very little bit about the ideas that get tossed around on a smaller scale, but I still don't agree with most of it ... I think the advertising industry is stuck in the 20th-century paradigm of directing the user's experience, even when every single 21st-century gadget reinforces the idea of the user directing his or her own experience. Be part of that or begone.

Unfortunately, both EA and ESPN have shown that they do not understand this. I'm expecting ESPN to have annoying Snickers placement all over the place next year ... I'm sure it's much better to be working on that or on other unwanted "features" than on fixing bugs in the game (like playoff spots in online franchise mode being determined by alphabetical order).

Saturday, February 06, 2010

WTF, Los Angeles edition

I have three thoughts about this.

1. Lane Kiffin is the absolute dumbest coach in the history of intercollegiate athletics.
2. Actually, that.
3. Yes.

Okay, so really, 2 is this:

Assistant: Yeah, so I'm not convinced that Barkley is good enough to be the guy next year. I mean, some of those passes, a 13-year-old could throw.
Kiffykins: Hold on, I'll get one. (darts out of room)
Assistant: Wait, it was a figure of speech ...
(Kiffykins returns.)
Kiffykins: I got one. Okay, next position.
(Assistant sighs.)

I guess 3 would be that if you actually find a parent stupid enough to believe that anything Kiffykins says will be true in five years – five times longer than his stay at Tennessee – you might as well put one over on him. I can't wait for this poor kid to try to enroll at USC in 2015, only to find out any number of things have happened (USC has no scholarships to give, there are three five-star prospects already at QB, the coach after the coach who replaced Kiffin has no intention of honoring the offer, his arm fell off in 2013) ...