Why GTA IV isn't all that

So today, I'm catching up on some of the other achievements and working on other random things. I decide I'm going to work on the swimming part of the Liberty City Marathon (of course if they knew what they were doing, they'd have called it a decathlon - ten events - but whatever), 40 miles. I've got 1 done, so I've got a ways to go.

I swim for a bit, climb into a boat and drive, jump back in and swim, walk on the shore, and so on. At one point, I look up and notice that I'm taking damage ... from ... uh, I don't know. Fatigue, I guess?

So I panic and swim madly for sure, but of course action fatigue sets in and so Niko can only swim at slow speed for a while. (I guess that experience in the war didn't really help any.) Finally, I crawl onto land just before I die.

As I'm making my way back to civilization, Packie calls me. Sure, I'll play pool. So I head toward a street where I can catch a cab.

I pass a hot dog stand. Hmm, I'm almost dead, I could use one. And here is where some of GTA's many flaws converge:

• There's someone standing on the hot spot, so I can't buy a hot dog; worse yet, I start circling him, moving back and forth to try to find out how to get where he is.
• Naturally, he takes exception to me, but I don't want to start anything because I don't have a car or life. He takes a swing and takes the last of my health.
• I wake up outside the hospital, without my untouched life vest (I guess even though they can resurrect you with all your weapons, they take your body armor). However, now Packie no longer appears on the map.
• I don't come pick him up (because I don't know where he is), so of course he texts me and is mad.

Awesome.

Rockstar, you're playing with fire. GTA has a fairly committed fan base, but honestly, there are problems with GTA IV. A lot of them. You need to address some of them before GTA V comes out, or you're going to end up like EA (I know, from an economic sense that would be great), with some casual fans who like the games and hardcore enemies who hate how solid franchises were slowly brought down to earth.

At the very least, next time, give me an option to tell my friend "Sure, I'll play pool, but I'm dying on the beach right now. How about two hours?"

Oh yeah? Well I don't care!

So yeah, I didn't get the late-night delivery I wanted. Supposedly it's out for delivery now. whatever.

I seem to recall this happened before with Amazon. Well, that's it! No more pre-orders from them! Ever!

I thought I'd look it up, just to ensure I wasn't forgetting anything ... and it turns out that it was EBgames.com, not Amazon. I think it was Mario Kart: Double Dash for the GameCube.

oops.

But that doesn't really matter. If I really want a game on launch day, I'm better off driving around for an hour and finding it live than paying extra to get it delivered and then finding out the day of arrival that it's not coming.

It's a shame that there's really no pressure in B2C relationships that you'd see in B2B ... granted, it's not about the money (I'm sure that'll be refunded) as much as the promise. I just don't feel like there's any urgency on UPS' part to deliver the game.

Well, it's not like I pre-order that many games anyway. I sure wouldn't do it if I had to put down a deposit ...

Update, 2:10 P.M.: It's here, finally. Of course I'm in the middle of a long Culdcept duel and won't be able to play for a while ... and today is supposed to be a DDR day ... grrrr ...

The what is where?

So, like five hundred thousand other gamers in the US (or so Take Two hopes), I preordered GTA IV, and just for kicks, I spent the $5 to have it shipped next-day instead of second-day air. So I figured I better get up early today to ensure I'd be at the door when the UPS man arrived. (It's not a big deal, usually, because they can leave most things, but sometimes you have to sign, and on rare occasions, you can't change it, you have to be there anyway - see UPS Ground Sucks.)

Today, I checked the status of my package.

US 04/28/2008 2:55 P.M. BILLING INFORMATION RECEIVED

Well, that's normal, although sometimes it says where it originated. This should be followed by arrival in Louisville, then departure, then arrival in Indy for delivery.

PHILADELPHIA,
PA, US 04/29/2008 2:20 A.M. INCORRECT ROUTING AT UPS FACILITY / THE PACKAGE WAS MISSORTED AT THE HUB. IT HAS BEEN REROUTED TO THE CORRECT DESTINATION SITE

Um, what?

panic. I'll have to play something else today.

Then calm arrives. Of course this happens from time to time. They'll ship it back to the Louisville hub, then ... um ... fly it up? It's a two-hour drive, so I doubt they'd drive it ... hmm ...

PHILADELPHIA,
PA, US 04/29/2008 10:42 A.M. DEPARTURE SCAN

Okay, that's better. Back on track, but when will it be here?

LOUISVILLE,
KY, US 04/29/2008 12:33 P.M. ARRIVAL SCAN

Not bad. It still has to be flown up here, though. I'd say 12:57 P.M. for departure scan from Louisville, 1:45 P.M. for arrival scan in Indy, and then 2:45 P.M. for "Out for Delivery."

Naturally, the whole time the status has been "In Transit - On Time", which is what I would tell a panicky customer who was worried that a very important shipment would be late.

Updates to come, but let's just say that right now, I'm unhappily playing Culdcept Saga.

Update, 2:15 PM: Yeah, it's not arriving today. They just updated the status: "In Transit." As in "Not On Time."

Oh well. It's not worth spending an extra $50 or $60 just to get it now, assuming I could find a copy of it.

boo.

I'm getting my $5 back from Amazon.

Update, 5:35 PM: but wait! There may still be hope:

LOUISVILLE,
KY, US 04/29/2008 4:24 P.M. DEPARTURE SCAN

Right, so it did leave Louisville today. That's a good sign. Still, even if it's scanned in Indy at 5:25 P.M., I'd be surprised if it's on a truck and at my door by 7.

Surprise me, UPS.

Update, 8:25 PM: Closer, closer ...

INDIANAPOLIS,
IN, US 04/29/2008 7:32 P.M. ARRIVAL SCAN

Of course, it doesn't say "Out For Delivery". It may actually be out, and the data may be out of date, but I doubt it.

boo.