Friday, January 07, 2011

NFL Training Camp, 60-Day Workout: Day 2

In which we learn that lineman are huge, fat creatures who can run faster than cars and also step on your soul.

Today is day 2 of my back-to-back workout days. It's impossible to work out 4 days per week and avoid back-to-back days[1] ... of course you can alternate days and have your back-to-back days be the end of the week, but that doesn't seem wise to me. Of course, right now back-to-back workouts don't seem wise to me either.

Today's workout was different in many ways, some of them not so good, most of them good. I'll just tell the story and let you decide what wasn't good. (Hint: IT'S WHEN I SHOUT. Subtlety and the internets don't mix.)

I was not actually here today.
Did I mention there was an achievement for working out in all 32 NFL stadiums?[2] Oh, the practice fields count separately. So anyway, it picks a stadium for you at random. Today it was Sun Life Stadium in Miami. Brandon Marshall was going to be my trainer, but no, he scares me, so I chose Michigan's Chad Henne instead.

We started off with the normal stretching exercises, then went on to some cardio and some weights. This time I was clever: I've got a set of Bowflex SelectTech 552 dumbbells[3], which are awesome, by the way, but anyway I brought them into the room with me so I could reach back and grab the appropriate weights for each exercise. (These are the kind where you dial the weight you want and lift them out. In this case, I was progressively dialing lighter and lighter weights.) So I'd just turn back, grab weights, and continue.

This time, I got to do the Lineman Challenge. In this one, you run hard for 20 yards or so, do a ladder thing for 20 yards (where you step into one square, to either side of the next square, into the next square, and so on, so your feet are going outside/left outside/right inside/left inside/right), walk for 20 yards or so, run in place with your hands out for 20 yards, and then jog for 20 yards. That's not too hard the first time, but like each challenge, you do it twice in the session.

One exercises involved the run-in-place thing, I forget what they call it, for 15 seconds, and of course that came up twice as well. Fortunately, the cats were both taking power naps when I began. (They both woke up later to inspect my form. Josie found it displeasing and tried to offer tips for improvement, while Calle made sure to desalinate my left hand while I was trying hard not to move: details below.)

We did some more squats from hell. I'm not a fan of holding things in place. I guess that means I need to build strength, and perhaps that was the cause of the first problem. I did shoulder presses OK (after doing these squats where you hold the weights up instead of down), but when it was time to do lateral shoulder raises ... remember when you first got your Wii, and you were bowling, and you'd go up to the line, and suddenly your Mii would start to bowl, even though you weren't moving? Well, that's essentially what happened. The Wii insisted that I stop moving and keep my arms still, which of course I was. I tried doing a number of different things, none of which worked, so I skipped the drill.

It happened again when I was doing reverse crunches. (I'd link, but I can't find anything that shows what it wanted me to do.) The idea was to lie on your back with your arms on the floor, bend your knees at a 90-degree angle, and lift your legs up, hold them there, then lower until your heels almost touch but don't quite touch. The problem was that it didn't register that I was lowering my legs until my feet were flat on the floor. (Not sure if this is a sensor issue, a placement-of-the-Wii issue, or what.) So I made it through 8 of 10 reps before it decided I wasn't trying any more, so I skipped that. (Hint: give us four sensors next time, jerks.)

Fortunately, the two exercises that crapped out were near the end, when I'd pretty much exhausted myself. I didn't actually see spots, and I didn't actually throw up, but I suddenly had no problem picturing someone working out to that point, especially if he'd had a dinner from one of the four main food groups[5] just hours before. Let's just say that the stretching exercises at the end that involved lying down on the floor were very welcome.

With just two workouts, I've moved up to pick 199 in the draft, which I believe is the seventh pick in the seventh round. (Presumably supplemental picks are not included in the game.) It's interesting to see how tired you can get after a 25-minute workout, especially when about 5 minutes are stretching and another 5 are watching the new exercises to learn how to do them. Then again, I haven't done a full-body workout in a long time, probably not since Volleybash in September.

Tomorrow is an off day. Woo! Then back to the Wii on Sunday.[6]

P.S. I want you to know that I spent somewhere between 30 and 60 minutes trying to figure out how I had my pictures and captions set up before. Apparently when I upgraded to the new layout, I forgot I'd had some custom styles that I wanted to keep. Anyway, it still bothers me, and I'll fix it properly, but for now it's barely tolerable, so appreciate my hard work. lolz.

P.P.S. Fixed now. Stupid spans. Not what I wanted.

[1] Dear visitors from other planets, certainly you have better things to do than quibble about our system of tracking days. I know your scheme. (return)
[2] I know there are 31 unique stadiums. I'm not entirely sure that EA knows, and even if they do, I'm sure they count it separately when you work out with Jets and with Giants. Now quiet down so we can continue. kthx. (return)
[3] Yes, that's an Amazon Associates link. Yes, I will make money if you buy that equipment after clicking through my site. If you love your country[4], you'll do it. (return)
[4] Your country doesn't have to be my country. It's a free-trade thing. We have a reciprocal agreement in place.
[5] Pizza, hamburgers, Chinese food, and Mexican food. In this case, it was breadsticks, which are obviously members of the Pizza family. (return)
[6] Yes, I know I didn't actually rant. Maybe I'm too tired, or maybe my expectations are too low. Maybe next time. (return)


  1. Good story. I was curious about this game but scared off by the price tag and my history of abandoning Wii workout games in exchange for good old fashioned running.

  2. Yeah, I'm not sure that you can justify the cost of something like this, not yet. The technology on the Wii still isn't accurate enough for it to work the way I'd like it to. (There are other little problems, like the voice not leading you as well as the Wii Fit trainers do.)

    Maybe it's better as a Kinect game, but then there's a significant expense if you don't already have a Kinect (as I don't). Given what you've posted about running on your own, you might want to stick with that, at least until you can score one of these at a cheaper price.


There was an error in this gadget