Monday, November 09, 2009

Dear fans of other teams,

Please stop using hyperbole to try to make a point. Please stop exaggerating your teams' weaknesses and minimizing their strengths.

It is painful to listen to someone try to tell me how their defense is bad, or their offense is struggling, or blah blah blah whatever.

Look. You don't know squat. This is what my team did yesterday. It took what should have been a 24-0 or even 28-0 lead and made it 17-0; they failed on third-and-one, then missed a field goal on fourth-and-one, and settled for a field goal on another drive that started in Seattle territory. Of course, they only scored 3 points the rest of the way and lost yet again.

That's 1-24 over their last 25 games ... for reference, 2-24 in their last 26. The '76-77 Buccaneers went 0-26 over their first 26 games, won the next two, and played in the NFC Championship game two years later. The Lions will be lucky to make the playoffs in two years.

The offense is bad. There are about three good players on that side of the ball, and two of them have been hurt this season. The defense is bad. I don't know what to say about that. Even special teams, long an area of expertise for the Lions (which is extremely unusual; typically ST success is not sustainable), has been a problem.

Surprisingly, the Lions have one game left that is possibly winnable, at home against Cleveland. The rest of their schedule is against teams with .500 records or better: at Minnesota, at home vs. Green Bay, at Cincinnati, at Baltimore, vs. Arizona, at San Francisco, and at home vs. Chicago. Yes, Bears fans will say the last game is winnable. I say shut up.

My team is bad. They haven't had a winning season in 9 years, a playoff appearance in 10, or a playoff win in 18. (And that was the lone playoff win in the last 52 years.) They're coming off the only 0-16 season in NFL history. They will likely set a record for most losses in consecutive seasons; five teams lost 28 games over two seasons, and that shouldn't be a problem for Detroit to match.

And what's worse, they have plenty of company. Even with the 0-16 season, they didn't have the worst record in the last two seasons: St. Louis was 5-27 and Kansas City was 6-26. If the Lions hadn't lost to the Rams, St. Louis might well have exceeded Detroit's 19-game losing streak.

Cleveland isn't much better and may be getting worse. Tampa Bay has been struggling quite a bit. Neither Oakland nor Washington seems like a 2-win team.

Look, I understand the concept of not meeting expectations. Once upon a time, Detroit could actually be good enough to consider a playoff appearance, so I know what that's like. But don't confuse that with actually being bad.

And if your team is 8-0, don't complain at all. You'll sound like a Patriots fan.


  1. This made me smile when I was at work today. Thanks for the much needed humor.

  2. Oh I'm sure. All I read was "poor me. Look at me, such a martyr Lions fan. Boo Hoo. You don't KNOW depression. You don't KNOW stress."

    Whatever. When fans of other teams talk to you, we're not trying to compare ourselves with the Lions. Any given Sunday, right? So it's a bummer if Bob Sanders is out for the season. That makes our chances on any given Sunday that much worse. We're allowed to be upset about bad things that happen to our team...

  3. Thanks, Candace! Glad I could reach a non-sports fan.

    ems: five-year rule.