NFL Training Camp, 60-Day Workout: Day 4

In which we learn that EA does not understand UI design in the slightest.

Yes, there is no entry for yesterday; I'm not going to write every time I sit on my couch. Off days, remember. So this is the third workout of four this week (Monday is next, then two off days).

Arrrrrr.

Today we virtually visit Raymond James Stadium in Tampa, Florida. (Not Tampa Bay. Don't be silly. Build a stadium in the middle of a body of water? It can't be done.) My suggested trainer was Barrett Ruud, but in an attempt to avoid typecasting, I chose Ronde Barber. Basically, I wanted to ask him about that issue of Cat Fancy.[1]

I got to try the QB Read and React and Punting Challenge. The idea behind Read and React is that you're shown a pass pattern and where the receivers will be, then targets pop up in green or red. Throw to the green ones, don't throw to the red ones. Not so bad. Punting consists of swinging your leg, woo. You have to do it quickly, though ... one step and kick. Not a big fan. Of course the real problem is that you don't get to decide which leg you use. I kick left-footed, so I had to move the sensor to my other leg.

There was also a QB challenge that consisted of walking, the passing part I did on day one, and jogging. (QBs don't run, I guess.) This was the game where you run in place and zing the ball to receivers between linemen, with follow-through determining distance, at least in theory; in practice, the ball did what it wanted to, sometimes literally. I found that on several occasions, I was told to raise my throwing hand when I already had it raised, and when I lowered it, the ball was thrown. Very disappointing.

Naturally, I had the problem with the game thinking I was moving on other occasions, so I had to skip those exercises ... well, I didn't skip them. I did them on my own and then "skipped".

I made it through intact, went through the cooldown exercises, and started to buy items. Fortunately, I did well enough at the Punting Challenge (mostly by kicking weakly and watching the ball roll toward the target) that I was able to purchase several items. I realized I hadn't bought the Lions helmet yet, and that there was probably an achievement for that, so I did. Two achievements there (one for buying a helmet and one for buying my team helmet) gave me more points, so I did more buying ... and I remembered how poorly EA designs interfaces.

Now, keep in mind that this is the Wii, so there's already a handicap (slower processor than the 360 and PS3). To buy items, you go to that team's shop, where it displays everything related to the team. If you want to buy something else, you have to exit to the list of teams, then click on the team you want, and then it has to load those items. Each section (shirts, socks, gloves, etc.) loads separately as
well, so you spend a lot of time waiting. Of course motion controllers aren't designed for precision in the first place, and the game isn't compatible with Wii Plus (which probably contributes to other issues as well), so you spend a lot of time trying to find the correct spot to click. sigh.

As I try the different workouts, I find that the inaccuracy of the sensors is a pretty big issue. At least I can still do the exercises ... it'd be interesting to see how this would work on the Kinect, but apparently it isn't going to be released for the 360. (Perhaps that says something about their motion detection.)

---

[1] Nuts. It was Warrick Dunn. Never mind. (return)

Told you so: things they didn't fix after all in Madden 11

Back in June, when I was playing Madden 10 regularly for an online franchise league (we're just wrapping that up now), I wrote about things they needed to fix but wouldn't because I'm skeptical like that. (Not that you'd noticed, I hide it so well.) Of course I forgot about the rant shortly after I wrote it. But yesterday, when I was poking around looking for a specific post, I found it again, and I thought it might be a good idea to pat myself on the back for reading the future.

Problem: Madden Moments don't always explain the goal correctly. (The example I gave was a description that said you needed to tie the game when actually you had to win the game.)
Status: Unknown. I played through the Madden Moments, but don't remember if they were described correctly.

Problem: The camera on place kicks isn't the usual one, above and behind the ball; instead, it's random, for no apparent reason, especially given that you might want to try to block a kick (not that I've ever done it myself).
Status: Fixed. I don't remember seeing an angle other than the correct one.

Problem: When playing another person, you're unable to see what personnel he has in the huddle; this is pretty significant given that in real life, you can't have more than 11 men in the huddle, and you obviously can't get them on the field without the defense seeing who's there.
Status: Not fixed. Too bad for you. You have to send in a defensive play almost without knowing what you're up against. This makes no sense at all.

Problem: Cut scenes are used too often, take too long to load, have no drama about them at all, and are occasionally incorrect.
Status: Fixed. Several cut scenes were removed, others (like the first-down measurement) were integrated better with game action.

Problem: Commercialism in the game; seemingly everything has a sponsor, just like a real game. (Oh joy.) Even when you play online, there's always a little box above the status bar.
Status: Mostly fixed. The ads are scaled back quite a bit in Madden 11, especially online.

Problem: The game is becoming more about button-mashing and less about execution. It doesn't matter if you called the right defense if the other guy can move the stick up faster than you can move it down.
Status: Not fixed. Apparently EA likes the idea that any RB can break tackles all year round. I haven't yet played an offline season of 11, but I'm sure I'll see RBs with 2500-yard seasons again.

Problem: Punt returners insist on fielding balls no matter where they're kicked.
Status: Not fixed. Granted, in real life PRs do field more punts inside the 20 than they did in the past, but no one ever fields a punt in his own end zone. Too bad EA doesn't see things that way.

Problem: The halftime report (in offline games) delays the game significantly because of all the video that plays. The value returned to a solo player is very, very small.
Status: Unknown. I'll have to play an offline game to see if they've done away with that.

Problem: Achievements are all about individual plays or games; there are no season or career achievements.
Status: Not fixed. I really, really don't understand this. Achievements are a great way to get people to keep playing your game, especially if it's just the same crap as last year with a few cosmetic changes and a roster update, but apparently EA didn't get that message.

Problem: The camera rocks from side to side when the ballcarrier breaks away from the last defender.
Status: Fixed. This was stupid. We're not 15. (Well, most of us aren't.)

Problem: Playbooks can't be edited. For example, there's no way to introduce 4-4 defenses, even though most offensive playbooks have plays for 22 personnel.
Status: Not fixed. It's OK, though. You can create a custom game plan! And then your DC can give you a stupid play that won't work anyway! Woo!

Problem: EA insists on presenting Total Yards as a team stat; it's a statistic that's almost never used and is never presented at team level. Total Offense (or Yards from Scrimmage for individual players) is really what you want to see.
Status: Not fixed. Of course not. EA doesn't even enforce rules properly. (They don't know the difference between clipping and blocking in the back, for example.) They're not going to get statistics correct.

So they did take care of a few things, but mostly we got the same pile of crap. But hey! There's an unlockable "3D" mode! (If you own one of those stupid TVs and want to play a game in fake 3D, I will laugh at you.)

Whoever told you that the NFL granting an exclusive license to EA wouldn't change the quality of Madden was working either for the NFL or for EA. It's been a disaster. There are new gamers who probably love what Madden has to offer and have no idea how much work EA put into the game back when they needed to in order to establish market share. I wish they would do so again.

NFL Training Camp, 60-Day Workout: Day 2

In which we learn that lineman are huge, fat creatures who can run faster than cars and also step on your soul.

Today is day 2 of my back-to-back workout days. It's impossible to work out 4 days per week and avoid back-to-back days[1] ... of course you can alternate days and have your back-to-back days be the end of the week, but that doesn't seem wise to me. Of course, right now back-to-back workouts don't seem wise to me either.

Today's workout was different in many ways, some of them not so good, most of them good. I'll just tell the story and let you decide what wasn't good. (Hint: IT'S WHEN I SHOUT. Subtlety and the internets don't mix.)

I was not actually here today.

Did I mention there was an achievement for working out in all 32 NFL stadiums?[2] Oh, the practice fields count separately. So anyway, it picks a stadium for you at random. Today it was Sun Life Stadium in Miami. Brandon Marshall was going to be my trainer, but no, he scares me, so I chose Michigan's Chad Henne instead.

We started off with the normal stretching exercises, then went on to some cardio and some weights. This time I was clever: I've got a set of Bowflex SelectTech 552 dumbbells[3], which are awesome, by the way, but anyway I brought them into the room with me so I could reach back and grab the appropriate weights for each exercise. (These are the kind where you dial the weight you want and lift them out. In this case, I was progressively dialing lighter and lighter weights.) So I'd just turn back, grab weights, and continue.

This time, I got to do the Lineman Challenge. In this one, you run hard for 20 yards or so, do a ladder thing for 20 yards (where you step into one square, to either side of the next square, into the next square, and so on, so your feet are going outside/left outside/right inside/left inside/right), walk for 20 yards or so, run in place with your hands out for 20 yards, and then jog for 20 yards. That's not too hard the first time, but like each challenge, you do it twice in the session.

One exercises involved the run-in-place thing, I forget what they call it, for 15 seconds, and of course that came up twice as well. Fortunately, the cats were both taking power naps when I began. (They both woke up later to inspect my form. Josie found it displeasing and tried to offer tips for improvement, while Calle made sure to desalinate my left hand while I was trying hard not to move: details below.)

We did some more squats from hell. I'm not a fan of holding things in place. I guess that means I need to build strength, and perhaps that was the cause of the first problem. I did shoulder presses OK (after doing these squats where you hold the weights up instead of down), but when it was time to do lateral shoulder raises ... remember when you first got your Wii, and you were bowling, and you'd go up to the line, and suddenly your Mii would start to bowl, even though you weren't moving? Well, that's essentially what happened. The Wii insisted that I stop moving and keep my arms still, which of course I was. I tried doing a number of different things, none of which worked, so I skipped the drill.

It happened again when I was doing reverse crunches. (I'd link, but I can't find anything that shows what it wanted me to do.) The idea was to lie on your back with your arms on the floor, bend your knees at a 90-degree angle, and lift your legs up, hold them there, then lower until your heels almost touch but don't quite touch. The problem was that it didn't register that I was lowering my legs until my feet were flat on the floor. (Not sure if this is a sensor issue, a placement-of-the-Wii issue, or what.) So I made it through 8 of 10 reps before it decided I wasn't trying any more, so I skipped that. (Hint: give us four sensors next time, jerks.)

Fortunately, the two exercises that crapped out were near the end, when I'd pretty much exhausted myself. I didn't actually see spots, and I didn't actually throw up, but I suddenly had no problem picturing someone working out to that point, especially if he'd had a dinner from one of the four main food groups[5] just hours before. Let's just say that the stretching exercises at the end that involved lying down on the floor were very welcome.

With just two workouts, I've moved up to pick 199 in the draft, which I believe is the seventh pick in the seventh round. (Presumably supplemental picks are not included in the game.) It's interesting to see how tired you can get after a 25-minute workout, especially when about 5 minutes are stretching and another 5 are watching the new exercises to learn how to do them. Then again, I haven't done a full-body workout in a long time, probably not since Volleybash in September.

Tomorrow is an off day. Woo! Then back to the Wii on Sunday.[6]

P.S. I want you to know that I spent somewhere between 30 and 60 minutes trying to figure out how I had my pictures and captions set up before. Apparently when I upgraded to the new layout, I forgot I'd had some custom styles that I wanted to keep. Anyway, it still bothers me, and I'll fix it properly, but for now it's barely tolerable, so appreciate my hard work. lolz.

P.P.S. Fixed now. Stupid spans. Not what I wanted.

---

[1] Dear visitors from other planets, certainly you have better things to do than quibble about our system of tracking days. I know your scheme. (return)
[2] I know there are 31 unique stadiums. I'm not entirely sure that EA knows, and even if they do, I'm sure they count it separately when you work out with Jets and with Giants. Now quiet down so we can continue. kthx. (return)
[3] Yes, that's an Amazon Associates link. Yes, I will make money if you buy that equipment after clicking through my site. If you love your country[4], you'll do it. (return)
[4] Your country doesn't have to be my country. It's a free-trade thing. We have a reciprocal agreement in place.
[5] Pizza, hamburgers, Chinese food, and Mexican food. In this case, it was breadsticks, which are obviously members of the Pizza family. (return)
[6] Yes, I know I didn't actually rant. Maybe I'm too tired, or maybe my expectations are too low. Maybe next time. (return)

NFL Training Camp, 60-Day Workout: Day 1

This is my deep, dark secret. All my life, I've wanted to be an NFL player.[1] One day I realized that the number of old, out-of-shape players in the league was 0[3], so I decided to do something about it: buy a video game.

Because I don't own a Kinect[4], the obvious answer was Wii Fit, except I already own it, and I don't use it that often. OK, the obvious answer was watching Chad Eight-Five's commercial for it. He may be a jerk on the field, but he's a hell of a salesman, and the NFL would do well to have more players like him. Besides, it was a neat idea: work out like the pros do[5] and track your progress.

Plus, they do the tracking by giving you two additional sensors, one for your upper arm that also measures your pulse and one for your upper thigh. These probably stay on better if you have an athlete's physique. (Why wouldn't they do two for your arms so that you don't hold the Wiimote so often? Don't know. For that matter, why not do both legs?)

I created my "person", synced it to my EA Sports account (more on this later), set my favorite team (Lions, duh) and trainer, which is really your workout leader (Calvin Johnson), and intensity level (medium, because really, I need to push myself). Off I went ...

So you do some stretches, then some weights and cardio, then cool-down stretches. Easy enough. Each exercise works kind of like Wii Fit: first an example, then you do it for real with the leader showing you what to do. The weight workouts want you to use this stupid resistance "band", which in my case was a silly piece of stretchy plastic/rubber, no loops on the end or anything. Fortunately, I'd read the reviews on Amazon, and several suggested that you use free weights instead. (As it turns out, you don't need to hold the Wiimote for those exercises.)

For one exercise, side plank, the Wii had trouble detecting my movement, probably because I wasn't holding the Wiimote. Other than that, things went pretty well. The passing exercise was interesting: you move your feet in the pocket and step into your throw for force ... so if you are dumb like me and don't rotate your hips, you get a lot of three-yard completions. Hello, Charlie Batch. No kicking, punting, OL, LB, or DB drills this time.

You get points after each workout, based on the duration and effort, plus bonus points for achievements, and those are what you might expect: achievements for overall time spent and calories burned, distance running, yards throwing, workouts done in each facility (practice fields plus NFL stadiums), etc. You then use points to buy things like workout gear for your player (you start off with just a T-shirt, shorts, and shoes), stadiums, helmets, stickers ... more little things to keep you going. It then can upload your info to the EA Sports Active server where it can tell the world how little they're doing in comparison to you.

I learned a couple of things today. One is that I am out of shape. Another is that, for one day at least, I can work out just like an NFL player.[6]

Actually, I learned three things. The other is that EA sucks. I was able to link this game to my existing EA account, but when I went to log in to EA Sports Active, it accepted my login, and then it wanted me to choose a display name, which isn't necessarily my profile name. WTF? I'm logged in, you dumbass. Obviously my display name is taken because I ALREADY SIGNED UP. Jesus. Either work with the EA Sports people or don't link the databases. The only thing worse than work not done is work done in a half-ass fashion.

After one day, I'd certainly recommend it. I did work up a nice sweat, utterly confusing one of the cats (the other one's seen everything before and was too busy napping to comment) and forcing me to wear actual workout clothes instead of that nice sweatshirt and sweatpants combo that hides the possibility that I may actually have eaten footballs for breakfast.

I'm to work out four days each week and take three days off: Thursday, Friday[7], Sunday, and Monday are workout days, I think. Monday or Tuesday, one of those. I promise nothing in the way of posting.

---

[1] until I counted the number of short, slow players in the league and combined that with my parents' (well-earned) fear of me breaking my glasses.[2] (return)
[2] like that time with the Nerf ball. Yes. A Nerf ball. They don't make glasses like they used to, thankfully.
[3] assuming that #4 stays retired. (return)
[4] it's a nice idea, but really, what am I going to do with it? Work out ... and ... (return)
[5] if they could only work out in a 4x6 area in front of their TVs. (return)
[6] and by that I mean an NFL player who retired five years ago and does sideline commentary now. Why hello, Mr. Siragusa. No, nothing at all. You must have heard me incorrectly. (return)
[7] obviously I'm not dating. This may or may not have anything to do with the footballs I ate. (return)

I'm not a Guitar Hero VIP

A month or so ago, I picked up Guitar Hero: Warriors of Rock because it was a Gold Box special on Amazon. Naturally, it didn't get much play when Rock Band 3 came out, but I've played it a bit and it's all right. Of course, they've lost the battle ... anyway, as part of a long story you don't want to hear, I was going to connect my console to guitarhero.com because.

The way it works is you get an in-game code, you go to the website, you enter the code, and that plus your gamertag verifies that it's you. So I go to the site, enter the code that's on my screen ... and there's no match.

Right. Thanks for nothing, Activision.

Access 2007: how to use WeekdayName

So I'm working on this little project that calls for a column containing the day of the week. Odd, I know, but I thought it would be nice for Access to pass that along. There are a number of ways it can be done, but I thought it would be interesting to use WeekdayName because, well, it returns a name.

Of course, given that it's an Access function, Microsoft has little documentation and no examples for it. (Some time ago, Microsoft gave up providing useful examples for most of their functions ... of course they're not the only ones to do that. Adobe's examples for ColdFusion help are just as bad as Macromedia's were: they just show you what the syntax is without showing you results.) A quick Google didn't show me anything definite, and in fact showed me one suggestion that was flat-out wrong (that you can't control how it returns the day).

Now, that suggestion did have a good point – use a different function because of how this one works – but I'll show you anyway.

Here's the call: WeekdayName(weekdayvalue,abbreviate,firstdayofweek). See the problem? You're not passing a date, you're passing a Weekday, which means that it's simply telling you that the "first" day of the week is Monday (or whatever).

Anyway, the first value is a weekday value, not a date. The second value (optional), is a Boolean that specifies whether you want a three-letter abbreviation returned instead of the full weekday. (No apparent option to modify that.) The third value (optional) is the day of the week that you will designate as the first, with 1 being Sunday, 2 being Monday, etc. If you don't specify it, then you get whatever the system setting is, which may or may not be what you want.

Why did Microsoft make WeekdayName use an ordinal value instead of a date value? Because they're dumb. Anyway, if you want to use it, it looks like this:

WeekdayName(Weekday(#12/15/2010#),True,1) returns Wed. (Yes it does. I just tested it.) WeekdayName(Weekday(#12/15/2010#),False,1) returns Wednesday.

There you go ... but use this instead: Format(#12/15/2010#, "ddd").

Marketing idiocy

No offense to marketing people, because hey, that's what they pay you to do, right?

The Big Ten named its divisions. Legends and Leaders.

Yeah.

Dumbest change ever. MGoBlog suggests that we call them East and West. I'm with Brian.

East	West
Illinois	Iowa
Indiana	Michigan
Ohio State	Michigan State
Penn State	Minnesota
Purdue	Nebraska
Wisconsin	Northwestern

Sometimes the virtual world is better

It's 2014, my sixth season at Louisiana-Lafayette. Unlike last year, where an early-season loss kept us out of the BCS title game, we finish the regular season 12-0, including a couple of close calls (a close win over North Texas on the road in the rain, I think we turned it over four times in that one).

We're playing Notre Dame. They're #1, of course. We kick to start the game, force a punt ... interception. They drive for a TD. We throw an interception, returned for a TD. 14-0 Irish.

Second quarter. We kick a FG. They score a TD. 21-3. We lose a fumble. I mute the game. This isn't going well ... three early turnovers, we're getting blown out.

But they throw an interception, we return it deep in ND territory, and the QB scrambles for a TD. 21-10. They throw another interception and we return it for a TD. 21-17. We force a punt and score another TD. 24-21 at halftime.

The second half is more of the same; although we do make mistakes, the first-string defense doesn't allow another score. Our defense runs another interception back for a TD, it's 45-21, and I sit the starters. We nearly made it 52-21 on the ensuing kickoff, but replay confirmed their kick returner was down before he fumbled. (They did drive for a TD on my backups, but we stopped the two-point conversion and recovered the onside kick. Final score: ULL 45, ND 27.)

42 consecutive points. A national championship for ULL. Notre Dame gets crushed. I like it.

Wherein I learn that parts is not parts

You know ... "Parts is parts." Well, they ain't.

My guest toilet hasn't worked for quite some time. I tried to fix it, but in the process, it began leaking between the bowl and the tank, but only when I flushed. Did I say "leak"? I meant "flood". So I wrote that off to incompetence and resolved not to fix my other toilet unless I had to ...

and then one day, I had to. The cheap-ass parts inside finally gave way, so it was time. I put it off until guests were scheduled to arrive (you know you can use a toilet without flushing, right? Two ways: dump water quickly into the bowl to force the contents down, or you can also fill the tank manually and flush like you would ordinarily), but guests probably don't want to do that.

So off I go to Lowe's to pick up a toilet repair kit. It's pretty easy to replace the fill valve (the one on the left side, for most people), because you just unscrew what holds the pipe in place, pull the old valve out, put the new one in, adjust it, screw the pipe in place, and you're done. If you have to replace the flush valve, then you've got to take off the tank ... sigh. Not fun. (It's more challenging if you have one of those things that sits above your toilet ...)

So I get the pieces in place (except for one that stops leaks – I figured that out shortly before the end of the story), flushed to test, and hey! There's that flood thing again. I put the tools down, come back out to the living room, and play some more keyboards for a while.

Once I've calmed down, I Google "Fluidmaster leak between tank and bowl." Not quite helpful enough. Then I hit another thread that suggests something about toilet types. Hmm. And finally I found this one. Some toilets need bigger gaskets ... hmmm ... I'd better go check.

Sure enough, both toilets are Gerber toilets. The last guy to post says that he kept his old gasket, used the rest of the new parts, and it worked. I do the same. ta da!

Problem solved. Back to the store I go tomorrow to get a gasket (hopefully) for the other toilet.

Parts is not parts.

NHL 10: First half of March '10

Three games this week: home against the Kings and Blues, then on the road at Pittsburgh. Trade deadline's coming up, but that shouldn't be an issue.

March 2: Destruction. I did take one penalty, although I thought it clean ... they scored almost immediately on the ensuing power play. The coach didn't say anything, so it must have been a good one to take. Other than that, it was a great game for me: no long shifts, no turnovers.

Stats: 0 G, 0 A, +4, 5 shots, 2 PIM, 2 hits, 1 blocked shot
Result: W 7-2 vs. Los Angeles
Grade: A+ (A+/A+/A+)

March 4: Five seconds from a shutout and we let one in. At least I wasn't on the ice for it. Decent game, led pretty much the whole way again ... Auld did a fine job in goal. Another silly tripping call, although this time they didn't score on the power play.

Stats: 0 G, 1 A, +1, 2 shots, 2 PIM, 1 hit, 2 blocked shots, 1 takeaway
Result: W 3-1 vs. St. Louis
Grade: A+ (A+/A/A+)

March 6: Great win. The last few seconds of regulation were tough: they had a couple of chances, but our defense held them, and then Ott had a breakaway but not enough time to get a shot off. First line held them off, then after a change, we got the game-winning goal.

Stats: 0 G, 0 A, -1, 4 shots, 0 PIM, 0 hits, 1 blocked shot, 1 takeaway
Result: W 4-3 OT at Pittsburgh
Grade: B+ (A+/A/C-)

Three games this week: the other tough road game at Washington, then at Buffalo, and finally home against LA.

March 8: We chased Varlamov with four goals in the first (got to like facing the backup goalie). Three more on Theodore and it was a walkover.

Stats: 0 G, 2 A, +3, 6 shots, 0 PIM, 1 hit, 0 blocked shots
Result: W 7-0 at Washington
Grade: A+ (A+/A-/A+)

March 10: This was a tough game in two senses: we lost Grossman early in the game to an injury, so Campoli and I had to double-shift, and Buffalo lost Thomas Vanek as well. (He's out 4-5 weeks, that's a huge loss for the Sabres. He's second in the NHL in points.) I drew a high-sticking call with five seconds left in OT, but we lost the faceoff and went to a shootout. I tried five-hole again and it didn't get through. Richards scored in the fifth round and we won the shootout 1-0. I had one nice shot that he deflected past Miller for our second goal ... I'll take the assist.

Stats: 0 G, 1 A, even, 6 shots, 0 PIM, 1 hit, 2 blocked shots
Result: W 3-2 SO at Buffalo
Grade: A (A+/A+/A-)

March 12: Another big win over the Kings, although it should have been even bigger: we gave up two goals in the final minute of play (not while I was on the ice).

Stats: 0 G, 0 A, +1, 5 shots, 0 PIM, 0 hits, 2 blocked shots
Result: W 6-3 vs. Los Angeles
Grade: A (A+/A/B)

Four more games of our six-game home stand next week: Colorado, San Jose, Philadelphia, and Ottawa.

March 14: woo goal! This one was my first solid goal: I walked into the slot, got a pass, and snapped it to the left side. Didn't even get the shot high, but the goalie never got his blocker up. It was the game-winning goal for a while, but we let in a couple of bad goals ... eventually, though, we put it away.

Stats: 1 G, 1 A, even, 6 shots, 0 PIM, 3 hits, 1 blocked shot
Result: W 7-4 vs. Colorado
Grade: A+ (A+/A+/A+)

NHL 10: February '10

February 2: I'm fitting into the offense better, getting a better idea of when to join the rush. Still can't put one past the goalie when I want to, but I'm getting better chances. We gave up a goal to the fourth line in the third, which made me unhappy, but at least we got another good win.

Stats: 0 G, 0 A, even, 7 shots, 0 PIM, 1 hit, 1 blocked shot, 2 takeaways (+1)
Result: W 4-1 vs. Minnesota
Grade: A- (A+/A+/C+)

February 4: Another shootout against Columbus. Took a 3-0 lead in the first, lost most of it in the second, fell behind in the third, tied it, went to a shootout and won. Of course I missed my shot ...

Stats: 0 G, 0 A, -1, 5 shots, 0 PIM, 2 hits, 3 blocked shots
Result: W 7-6 SO at Columbus
Grade: A- (A+/A+/C-)

February 6: woo goal! I thought this one might have been tipped, but it went in cleanly. I even got the third star ... not bad for just two points on the night.

Stats: 1 G, 1 A, even, 2 shots, 0 PIM, 1 hit, 2 blocked shots, 1 takeaway
Result: W 6-3 vs. Phoenix
Grade: A+ (A+/A+/A+)

Three games this week, all on the road: at Chicago, at Calgary, and at Phoenix.

February 9: A good win over a good Blackhawks team. We led wire-to-wire and added an empty-net goal; thankfully I'd just got on the ice and got a cheap plus from that.

Stats: 0 G, 0 A, +1, 3 shots, 0 PIM, 0 hits, 1 blocked shot
Result: W 4-1 at Chicago
Grade: A- (A+/A-/B)

February 11: woo! Scored the only goal in the shootout. I guess those fakes do work sometimes ... trickled one through Kiprusoff's five-hole. Lost Slava Kozlov for a week or two, though. That one will hurt. The win pulls us within two points of fourth-place San Jose, but we're still a ways behind Anaheim.

Stats: 0 G, 0 A, +1, 6 shots, 0 PIM, 1 hit, 3 blocked shots, 2 takeaways
Result: W 2-1 SO at Calgary
Grade: A+ (A+/A+/A+)

February 13: tough loss in OT. We had a 3-on-2 in overtime, I shot, Bryzgalov saved, they got the puck at a wide angle, and boom, that was it. sigh. (Kozlov also played in this game, not sure what that was about.)

Stats: 0 G, 1 A, even, 8 shots, 0 PIM, 1 hit, 4 blocked shots
Result: L 2-3 OT at Phoenix
Grade: A (A+/A/A-)

No games next week or the week after because of the "Olympic" break.

NHL 10: Second half of January '10

January 18: woo goal! Nice wrist shot, beat the goalie high to his glove side. Dominance from start to finish. Would have liked to get another point and get a star, but it didn't happen.

Stats: 1 G, 1 A, +5, 5 shots, 0 PIM, 0 hits, 1 blocked shot
Result: W 6-0 vs. Minnesota
Grade: A (A+/B-/A+)

January 21: stupid loss. Long shift, couldn't get off the ice, couldn't control the puck. I crunched Steve Bernier in the first period ... he was up against the boards and I popped the puck loose. I don't think he returned. Sucks to be him. (He's out for two weeks now.) Oh, and I took a silly tripping minor – well deserved, but fun, because when I came out of the box, I got to be a forward.

Stats: 0 G, 0 A, -1, 4 shots, 2 PIM, 1 hit, 2 blocked shots, 1 takeaway
Result: L 1-2 OT at Vancouver
Grade: B+ (A+/A-/C-)

woot! Moved up to the first pair. Unlocked some new skates, too bad I have no boosts to put in them.

January 22: gah. awful. Gave up a PP goal as well as a ton of other goals. gah.

Stats: 0 G, 0 A, -4, 6 shots, 0 PIM, 1 hit, 3 blocked shots
Result: L 4-6 at Edmonton
Grade: B (A+/A/F)

Three games this week: at Colorado, then back home (finally) against Calgary and the Avs again.

January 24: Nice win, can't believe I was a +4. Had a near-breakaway too, but I tried to pass and blew it. Also had a good shot in the slot, but didn't score.

Stats: 0 G, 1 A, +4, 3 shots, 0 PIM, 1 hit, 2 blocked shots, 1 takeaway
Result: W 5-2 at Colorado
Grade: A+ (A+/A-/A+)

January 27: wow, did we get smoked in the first period. Five goals. It was awful ... surprising that we cut it to two at the end. Natural hat trick for Bouwmeester ... I got an assist on the final goal, but it was small consolation. You can't lose those games at home to teams at the bottom of the conference.

Stats: 0 G, 1 A, -2, 7 shots, 0 PIM, 1 hit, 3 blocked shots
Result: L 3-5 vs. Calgary
Grade: A- (A+/A/B-)

January 29: Complete reversal. We came out quickly and just took it to Colorado. There was no question at all ... plus the Avs made it easy by spending a lot of time in the box. I think I drew four roughing penalties myself; they committed five total. Probably my best all-around game to date: A+ across the board, only one long shift, no turnovers.

Stats: 0 G, 1 A, +1, 5 shots, 0 PIM, 1 hit, 1 blocked shot
Result: W 6-0 vs. Colorado
Grade: A+ (A+/A+/A+)

Four games this week: home against Phoenix and Minnesota, at Columbus, home against Phoenix again.

January 31: Another easy win ... I picked up a loose puck late in the game but wasn't close enough to get a good shot. We lost my former defense partner, Matt Niskanen, out for 9 weeks, which is pretty much until playoff time. Bad news.

Stats: 0 G, 0 A, +2, 6 shots, 0 PIM, 2 hits, 0 blocked shots
Result: W 4-1 vs. Phoenix
Grade: A (A+/A-/A-)

NHL 10: First half of January '10

January 2nd: terrible game. I put one in my own net, turned the puck over in the last minute of regulation to give up the tying goal, and was stopped in the shootout that we fortunately won. ugh.

Stats: 0 G, 0 A, -1, 3 shots, 0 PIM, 1 hit, 2 blocked shots, 2 takeaways
Result: W 4-3 SO vs. Vancouver
Grade: B+ (A+/B+/C-)

Three games this week: at New Jersey, at the Rangers, and hosting the Islanders. We traded away one defenseman and acquired another ... doesn't seem to have affected me, though.

January 5: Another bad game, mostly. Two giveaways by me lead directly to goals. Fortunately, I also set up a nice empty-net goal (wish I were closer), and we scored enough that it wasn't an issue.

Stats: 0 G, 1 A, even, 2 shots, 0 PIM, 1 hit, 2 blocked shots
Result: W 4-2 at New Jersey
Grade: A (A+/B/A)

January 6: This one was easy. We dominated from start to finish. I had several good chances ... would have liked to have put one away, but it wasn't to be.

Stats: 0 G, 0 A, +3, 8 shots, 0 PIM, 0 hits, 2 blocked shots, 1 takeaway
Result: W 7-0 at NY Rangers
Grade: A+ (A+/A/A+)

January 8: Tough loss ... they scored in the first after I dove to block a shot and didn't get it, and it took too long for us to catch up. Again, I had some quality shots, but just couldn't put any past DiPietro.

Stats: 0 G, 1 A, even, 8 shots, 0 PIM, 2 hits, 1 blocked shot, 2 takeaways (+1)
Result: L 1-2 vs. NY Islanders
Grade: A (A+/A-/A-)

Four games this week: at Columbus, at Philadelphia, at Montreal, and home against Detroit.

January 10: I hate Rick Nash. I think every shift he took, he ended up doing something against us. I mean, I had two assists and I was still a -2. So glad we managed to fight back with two in the third and one in OT.

Stats: 0 G, 2 A, -2, 2 shots, 0 PIM, 1 hit, 4 blocked shots
Result: W 5-4 OT at Columbus
Grade: A (A+/A-/A+)

January 12: Gave up a last-minute goal while I was on the ice. sigh. Just missed a breakaway pass, too.

Stats: 0 G, 0 A, -1, 8 shots, 0 PIM, 0 hits, 1 blocked shot
Result: W 4-2 at Philadelphia
Grade: B (A+/B+/C-)

We traded for Richard Matvichuk ... that's not good. Well, it's good because my line position is unrelated to team talent, I guess, so it means our top pair got better. Four D in the 80s, plus one at 79 and me at 76.

January 14: Better game for us, but I'm still making little mistakes. Had a good shot from the slot, but Carey saved it.

Stats: 0 G, 0 A, +1, 4 shots, 0 PIM, 1 hit, 3 blocked shots
Result: W 3-2 at Montreal
Grade: B+ (A+/B-/B)

January 16: wow. Huge win. I did contribute to their lone goal, but it didn't matter that much.

Stats: 0 G, 1 A, +4, 2 shots, 0 PIM, 0 hits, 3 blocked shots
Result: W 6-1 vs. Detroit
Grade: A+ (A+/A/A+)

Next week, three games: home against Minnesota, at Vancouver, and at Edmonton.

Inexplicable

Fuck the rules. A RB can wave the ball across the line and that's a TD. A WR can catch the ball and land in the end zone with it, but if he doesn't get up and run around like a goddamn chicken even though the play is over as soon as he's caught the ball in the end zone, it's not a touchdown.

That might be the dumbest ruling I have ever seen.

Weekend warmup: Thursday and Friday

• New Orleans 14, Minnesota 9: Didn't watch the whole thing because ugh NBC and because DirecTV seemed to be having transmission problems. A few things to note: both offenses looked like it was the first game of the season (can't wait to be seeing this in mid-August, right guys?), Favre definitely looked like he could have used some real practice, and the Vikings' running game was even worse without Peterson than you'd imagine. With Rice out of the lineup, the Vikings have tight ends and A.P., and even at that, once the Saints figured out Favre wasn't looking to WRs (partly because Harvin wasn't catching much), it was simple enough to change coverage and let Minnesota pretend they could run the ball. Easy pickings for quality opponents, I'm afraid.
• West Virginia 24, Marshall 21, OT: Reminded once again that most ESPN announcers aren't very good. There was a lot of blah blah blah in the fourth quarter as Marshall fumbled away a chance to ice the game and then watched the Mountaineers drive for 15 points to send the game to OT. Rod Gilmore praised Bill Stewart for going for one to make it 21-13 instead of "trying to get too much" (huh? you need a two-point conversion either way, and if you miss it at 21-19, game over), and talked all about momentum in overtime but didn't say boo about Marshall winning the toss and sheepily choosing defense. I'm sorry, but if my defense has been on the field for most of the 4th quarter and has just given up 15 points, I'm sending out the offense. I don't care about convention.
  
  Naturally, when Marshall had a 4th-and-1 from the West Virginia 41 with about 3:35 to play, Gilmore praised Marshall for punting because "you have to rely on your defense here." Huh? It's completely the wrong call. If you get the yard, you burn West Virginia's final time out in all likelihood or else you kill most of the remaining clock; if you don't get it, they still have to drive 60-some yards to score and then convert the two, and even if they do, you'll probably get the ball back with some time to spare. As it was, they had time only for one play.
  
  Look, if you're the underdog (Marshall has never beaten West Virginia), you play to win. You don't play not to lose. You go for it. You rely on your defense to stop a 60-yard drive, not an 80-yard drive. As it turned out, the punt team did a great job and killed the ball at the WV 2, and they still gave up six. Play to win, gentlemen. Play to win.
• Houston 54, UTEP 24: Didn't see the fourth quarter of this one, but I didn't need to. Houston QBs don't really do well in the NFL (beware, Eagles fans), but that offense sure works fine against middle-tier opponents. UTEP tried to hang with them and simply couldn't do it. The thing about a pass-heavy spread offense is that if you don't have the athletes to keep up, you simply can't stop it. There will always be someone open somewhere, and a good QB with time in the pocket will find him. (If you do have good athletes, the spread usually struggles, because it's predicated on finding mismatches somewhere.) Houston should put a lot of points on the board again this year.

Monday NCAA football

It's like the gift that keeps on giving ...

• Maryland 17, Navy 14: And we are reminded that when large companies establish a lock on a market, they immediately stop innovating. The announcers in this game spent about 45 minutes explaining how important time of possession really is, despite the fact that people say it isn't important. Well hey, lookee here! The team that had almost a 20-minute edge in time of possession lost! Way to pay attention to the game, fools.
  
  Navy should have won easily ... they ran all over Maryland, but couldn't finish. Too many fumbles inside the 10. They gave up a couple of quick scores but immediately settled down and pretty much locked down the Terrapins for the rest of the game. Friedgen made a lot of questionable decisions; I admire Maryland's commitment to him (too often ADs are pressured into change for change's sake) but wonder if he's going to be able to accomplish anything this season. That defense is going to struggle all year, I think.
• Boise State 33, Virginia Tech 30: Beamer's Boys spotted the Broncos 17 points and never really made up for it. Of course, naysayers will suggest that this only happened because it was at a neutral site, VT wasn't prepared, they lost a lot of talent, blah blah blah. The five people remaining in the BCS camp will point at the strength of the WAC behind Boise State as "evidence" that this isn't a real contender, and the rest of the country will look at games like this one and think yeah, you still don't get it, do you? Is it really a coincidence that the only major college postseason not managed by the NCAA is a joke? Laugh at their hypocrisy, their unwillingness to punish marquee programs, the arcane rules that players and coaches alike are expected to memorize, but do not mock their postseason feng shui.
  
  This was the type of game that we see all too rarely in September. (hear that, SEC? Yeah, we're talking to you.) Two solid teams trading punches in a game that would look just as good in January. Sure, mistakes were made on both sides, but are you going to remember the mistakes or the big plays? Exactly. (Well, if you're a Tech fan, you'll probably remember more of the mistakes.)
  
  So ... how about that Florida game?

Sunday NCAA football

• Southern 37, Delaware State 27: The Hornets scored on some big plays in the first half; Southern rolled back the pressure in the second and let Delaware State self-destruct on offense. Interesting to see how the heat affects teams with less depth.
• East Carolina 51, Tulsa 49: Not the game to watch if you like defense. Great back-and-forth game, decided on the final play by a jump ball in the end zone. (Mental note: get your 6-8 receivers on the field for those plays.) Of course the ESPN announcers didn't understand that they'd still have to attempt the extra point; with the defensive-conversion rule in college football, Tulsa could have tied the game, but fortunately ECU simply knelt down to end it.
• Texas Tech 35, SMU 27: A matchup of former SWC opponents using similar offensive approaches but with obviously different levels of talent. You have to wonder if June Jones' offense hasn't outlived its usefulness: even in its prime, it was never enough to overcome the lack of talent that seemed to prompt its use in the first place, and now that there are so many variations of spread offenses, neither the formation nor some of its effects are even unusual. SMU stayed somewhat close but never really threatened ... I would guess they'll finish in the top half of the conference again but won't seriously threaten for the title.

Saturday football. small doses

Not much to talk about here; I was busy with Volleybash, fantasy drafts, and talking on the porch most of the day, so I didn't see a lot.

• Notre Dame 23, Purdue 12: Totally got this one wrong. You wouldn't expect teams with question marks on defense to combine for just 35 points in this era, but that's what happened. Purdue looked like a team with a new QB and a general lack of talent; Notre Dame looked like a team learning a new offensive scheme. They could exploit certain issues with Purdue's defense, but not with any frequency, and they really struggled to block Lombardi Award candidate Ryan Kerrigan.
• Michigan 30, Connecticut 10: Didn't see this one live, but watched the scores and saw highlights later. Denard Robinson has transformed into a Rich Rodriguez QB; Forcier may see some action, and Devin Gardner may get a few snaps, but the job is clearly Robinson's to lose. The question is how much of that was UConn being unprepared for what they saw. Granted, this was more of a must-win game than anything else for the Wolverines, but they acquitted themselves well. Next week may provide a better read on the ceiling for this team.
• Arizona State 54, Portland State 9: Caught a bit of this on XM. As you'd expect, the Vikings were vastly overmatched. All they could manage was three field goals, two of them long ones. The meeting with Oregon in two weeks will likely be more of the same; next week's matchup with UC-Davis will provide a better barometer of the quality of this team.

Week 1: Thursday games

woo football!

• Minnesota 24, Middle Tennessee State 17: About as unimpressive a road win as you can muster. The Gophers got a long run on their first possession, put the ball in the end zone, and then struggled the rest of the game. 1 for 3, I think, on field goal attempts, shaky passing (but some good throws), an inability to keep the Blue Raiders buried ... if it hadn't been for a horrible mistake by an MTSU returner, reaching out with the ball on a kick return and losing the resulting fumble, this could have gone to overtime.
  
  As it was, Tim Brewster's likely final season at Minnesota got off to, well, an expected start, I guess. This team will get shredded in Big Ten play again.
• Iowa State 27, Northern Illinois 10: Only caught the fourth quarter of this game, just enough to see Iowa State look pretty unimpressive the whole time. Their defense made some good plays, but the offense wasn't really that good. Fortunately for them, NIU's vaunted rushing attack got no help from the passing game, and once the Cyclones built a decent lead, the game was over. Again, an unimpressive BCS team in a conference that will not be kind.

Random thoughts

• Yesterday I experienced something unique. I was driving down 37, heading to volleyball, when I pulled up at a stoplight next to a car that was blasting Aerosmith. I flipped through my stations, and hey! The same song was on XM 46.
  
  Yes, that's unique. I have never, in all the years I've subscribed (almost four), heard the same channel in another car. (I have walked into BWW once or twice when they've had their music on the same station.) And what's funny about this time is that somehow we were off by a second or so; my music switched and then hers followed, kind of like the delay you get when one TV is watching the HD feed and one is watching the SD feed. (And yes, that still happens in bars.)
  
  It's sad. XM and Sirius really screwed that up, didn't they?
• I just remembered one reason why I really don't use my iPod Touch that much any more. I connected it to sync and recharge today, and of course there was a software update waiting for me. I let iTunes try to install it, and naturally it didn't work and so we have to go through the whole factory-settings and restore-from-backup crap again.
  
  You know what? Apple is exactly like Microsoft. They always have been. It just looked different in the PC market after Apple screwed themselves out of a decent share with the "no-clones" philosophy, but in every instance where Apple is the dominant company, they have no problems doing the exact same stuff that Microsoft does. (Priced any e-books lately?)
  
  The idea behind the iPod is that it's supposed to be an easy-to-use music player, but Apple still hasn't figured out that the one-button scheme is and always has been stupid (which is easier to use, an iPod Touch or a non-Apple touch-screen phone?), and when even simple upgrade processes don't work smoothly, well, Apple should be thankful that their competitors have been forced out of the market for the most part. (Some did it to themselves. Zune?)
• Football woo! The Big Ten is splitting into divisions that will actually preserve the Michigan-Ohio State end-of-season rivalry. Amazingly, it took an electronic campaign by fans to make that happen. (Yes, even Delany admitted it had an effect.) Yeah, people believe some really stupid stuff in meetings like that, I guess. (Anybody looking forward to Florida State-Miami in early October? What's the opposite of woo?) It'll be interesting to see how the divisions play out next year ... and also interesting to see how NCAA handles it. Guess what, EA? You've got some changes to make! I know, you can't just push out the same game you did last year ... oh wait, that's Madden. Right. NCAA actually does improve occasionally.
  
  but woo football! (Even though the Lions, Purdue, Michigan, and Portland State will probably all suck.)

Here's a footnote to my iPod experience: after all that crap, I had app updates, so I went to install them, but you have to "purchase" them even though the updates are free, and the terms of the agreement had changed, so I had to read those first, and iTunes is remarkably unresponsive when it brings up forms and such, so that took forever, and then after agreeing to the new terms, I had to go back and get the apps again because HORRORS! if it actually did what I asked it to after I agreed to the new terms.

iTunes could be less user-friendly, but I'm not sure how.