XBLA review: Tempest (2/10)

Yet another recycled '80s game, complete with an "evolved" mode that's basically just fancy graphics that detract from gameplay. As added bonuses, the default difficulty level is faster than the original arcade game, the Super Zapper takes effect slowly rather than wiping out everything on-screen, the window in which the game sits isn't wide enough, so the far edge of the playing field is cut off on some levels, and all the achievements are in the evolved game, so you have to play it.

Oh yeah, and there's no spinner control for the 360.

And, as usual, the in-game leaderboard is reset every time you play.

Don't bother.

zlionsfan's rating: 2 feeble efforts out of 10.

Cyberball!

Yeah, I know, I should be blogging more, but I've been busy, running here and there. Nothing like being rained on at Wrigley, you know.

Anyway, Cyberball is coming to XBLA next week. Sweet! I might have to play a couple of MAME games just to get in the mood for it.

XBLA review: Missile Command (3/10)

Yawn.

This week's XBLA release is another Digital Eclipse port of an Atari classic. And who wouldn't want to play good old Missile Command?

Well, anyone without a trackball, for starters. Missile Command is slightly less awkward to play with a joystick than Centipede, but both really, really need a trackball to be played well.

Also, I never really liked Missile Command, so it stands to reason that if the port were faithful to the original, I wouldn't like it either, and so I don't.

I will give them credit, though, for porting it well. The Classic mode is basically the old game with joystick controller. (Thankfully, they do use X A B for bases. I've seen ports that used only one button to fire.) For some reason, there's no two-player alternating mode.

Naturally, there's an "Evolved" mode that is supposed to be so much better than the original. Again, nobody looks at these games and says "Man, if only the graphics were updated, this would be a kick-ass game, even today!" Well, actually, they could improve the graphics here. The contrast on some of the levels wasn't so good: you could tell that Atari was using some colors simply because they could.

Well, Evolved does change the colors up, along with "3D" graphics, but the irony is that there are still levels where it's not easy to pick up the "missiles." Sigh ... also, Digital Eclipse really, really wants you to play the Evolved mode. Ten of the twelve achievements are for the Evolved mode at Normal difficulty. Thankfully, they only required stupid "throttle monkey" difficulty for one achievement. (Why bother to give us only two difficulty levels? MAME lets you customize the difficulty like arcade operators could.)

Interestingly, they did change one thing significantly. The bonus multiplier continues to go up beyond 6x: it continues every two waves. This should give you that same kind of artificially-high score that pinball players got from tables in the early '90s, when designers realized that you could add a couple of zeroes to everything and people would like their scores better.

I guess if you really are hankering for a game of Missile Command, this might be nice to have in your collection, but if you weren't the kind of person who'd put a week's lunch money into the game in the '80s, I wouldn't bother with it today.

zlionsfan's rating: 3 cities out of 10.

XBLA review: XEVIOUS (9/10)

Yeah, I never thought of the title in all caps either ... anyway, for once, a classic arcade game has a quality port on the 360. No stupid online battle achievements, no graphic "upgrades", just original gameplay. Sadly, it's one-player only, thus the 9 instead of a 10. (Dear Microsoft, many people have multiple gamers in their house and do not wish to buy two consoles. Please explain this to publishers. Sincerely, us.)

What it's got:

• Secrets, just like the arcade (citadels and flags in the same places)
• Adaptive difficulty, just like the arcade (die twice in a row and you see weaker enemies)
• A high-score board that's saved with your settings. (ABOUT TIME! Why on earth would you bother to save settings and not save high scores?)
• Configurable controls. No more A and B if you'd rather not use them. (I prefer LT and RT myself. YMMV.)

What it don't:

• Two-player play. (Hotseat, like in the arcade. Co-op mode wouldn't be desirable.)

If you liked XEVIOUS in the arcade, by all means, pick this up. It's definitely worth it. If you missed out on '80s arcade games, you might give this one a try just to see what the better games were like.

zlionsfan's rating: 9 citadels out of 10.

XBLA review: Centipede/Millipede (5/10)

Well, here's yet another "remake" of a classic arcade game. Thankfully, someone realized that Centipede by itself is pretty lame, so the games come bundled as one.

Each one has a classic version and an "evolved" mode (yawn), which is pretty much a waste of time. Hey, guys, these games don't need fancy graphics. They don't add anything. If anything, it makes the game worse, because the graphics make it harder to figure out where you need to move and shoot. Each mode has standard difficulty and "throttle monkey" difficulty, which is basically top speed and top difficulty (the actual games have "pin" settings so that you can change these incrementally, but those aren't available in most ports.

The achievements are decent - one of them is the remove-all-mushrooms-from-the-screen in Centipede. I was never able to do that. None of them are stupid online achievements, either.

The biggest drawback to the game is that there is no trackball available for the 360. (I suppose you could use a USB trackball if you had one. My SlikStik console's trackball only works left-to-right, needing repair, so I couldn't test it, but I'd think Microsoft could come out with a mini-trackball.) The analog joystick is woefully inadequate, especially in throttle-monkey mode.

Other than that, the games are what you expect. If you liked them, you'll like them here, with the caveat that they look funny on a widescreen TV. (Someday they'll make a TV that rotates and lets you flip the output, so that classic arcade games and others can be viewed in the right aspect.)

If you want the achievements, then it's probably worth it, but otherwise I'd suggest getting an emulator and playing them with the right controls.

zlionsfan's rating: 5 fleas out of 10.